Posted by: Shula Asher Silberstein | 23 September 2010

Asexuality Awareness: I Always KNEW You Were There!

So this past week has been Asexuality Awareness Week. Well, it still is, I think, since today’s only Thursday. I really didn’t get a chance to do much to promote asexuality, other than writing this post over at Squidoo:

How to Become Asexual In A Sexual World

Which, surprisingly, appears to be my most popular post over there. That’s another reason I haven’t been over here a lot; I’ve been having too much fun.

Anyway, this morning I realized I hadn’t written a post here in a while, and I wanted to touch base with all my readers. Also, Asexuality on Twitter asked all us Aces to describe our relationship(s) and/or what we’re looking for. So I figured I’d post something about all that.

I should be working on my Demand Studios stuff right now. Since it’s paying, it should come first, especially near rent week. But this is just more important right now. I’m tired of putting everything off because “money has to come first”. I WILL get my eight articles done today, but not until I’ve done some self-expression and maybe some promotional stuff.

So, relationships…

For a long time I wasn’t sure how a relationship would work. I live with my best friend. Gavi is my non-romantic soulmate. She is my sister. We work together, eat together, laugh together, face bills, loneliness and stress together… we basically have a life together.

Gavi is looking for a romantic partner and so am I. I wasn’t sure how it would work because I don’t want the person to be jealous of her and I don’t want my relationship with Gavi to suddenly become un-close because I have a romantic partner as well.

So the key for me is “as well”.

I hope to always be close to Gavi…not in a romantic sense, obviously. I don’t want to interfere with her primary relationship once she meets that person, and of course I want to have a romantic partner and focus on hir. But I intend for that person to enhance the life I already have, not sweep me away to some new life that doesn’t include the closeness I have with Gavi.

I’m looking forward to double dating, to finding the balance between hanging with friends and having a romantic partner. I’m looking forward to finding that person.

I used to worry that no such person exists and the best I could do was live with a friend…until she finds someone to be romantic with. But I’m really encouraged by how many asexuals and asexual-friendly people are popping up on Twitter this week and/or stopping by my Squidoo page. I always knew other Aces were out there…somewhere. My biggest fear was that I was the only one in North Carolina.

A lot of my friends are very sexual. That might seem odd considering how very asexual I am, and for a while I was afraid I wouldn’t fit in. But it seems like the more open I am about it, the more people accept it and ask me about it–not in a judgmental, “aren’t you going to the doctor about it?” way but in a “so how does that work for you?” way. One of my new friends even went home and researched asexuality after she met me because she wanted to know more about it.

I hope that people’s interest in sharing who they are goes beyond this week. I’m so so excited by how many Aces are actually out there. Supposedly we are only 1 percent of the population. I think there’s way more that just haven’t been asked to participate in polls and don’t make a big deal about their asexuality.

In order to make a point next time I go to a club or something (which I haven’t done in a while because of lack of money), I want to buy one of the shirts on my Squidoo page.

I so wish I could have this in time for Pride Day on Saturday. Maybe next year.

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